Dee's Fireside Chats

At this stage of my life, I desire peace more than conflict, healing more than chaos, and purpose more than drama.  I notice when I talk and say what I feel, (to certain people close to me), I have often been told on several times to “shut the fuck up” or I have been told “the words you just said are not appropriate and karma will come to you”.  Now on that first time of “shut the fuck up” I was taking a day drive on a beautiful, sunny day.  I was driving my gold tone c300 Mercedes Benz in Annapolis Md, sunroof fully opened as the sun gleamed on my face while driving near the water, when I called someone dear to me and asked” what is it I can do to make things work out for us and our family”, and that was the moment I was told, “if you shut the fuck up you will be ok.”.  I pulled over and cried like a baby as I was trying to settle some disputes in my family.

As I was on the side of the road crying uncontrollably, my phone rang.  Which seemed like 5 minutes after I hung up from the previous call.  I thought it was the person that I had just spoken with, but as it turned out it, the call was from the #1 pharmaceutical company calling to tell me they heard about my cancer story, my courage and tenacity and they were calling to invite me to come to Switzerland as a speaker to their annual employee retreat/conference.  I accepted that invitation as I was still struggling to breathe from the heartbrokenness of the previous phone call.  This is 2011.

Fast forward, I was flown out to Switzerland first-class, a driver and a sign with DEE BURRELL waiting for me in the airport.  I was transported to a five-star hotel (…. At my first five-star hotel I had ever been a guest). And the idea of this being in Switzerland.  I had nothing but utmost respect for the entire time of that trip.  There was no one that looked like me, yet there was respect beyond respect. Let me make this clear. I was one of the ONLY black women visible!

Continuous fast forward…. It is now  2026,….it  has been one thing or the other.  I am very vocal and have dealt with so much pain in my heart and I still try to focus on the goodness of life.  At times I just shut down.  I am damn if I do, damn if I don’t.  When I speak my truth to certain folks, I am told “what you said is inappropriate”, yaddy. yaddy…yaddy…yet when I get quiet, which I will shut down and say nothing, then I am looked at as being mad, or not being pleasant.  Which is it… be me or  I must always watch my words.  Hell, I have even been told to “watch my words”.  

For years, I have worked closely with cancer survivors as I happen to be a cancer survivor and with the blessing of GOD, I will celebrate 20 years as a survivor.  I have been told or written about being a POWERHOUSE CANCER ADVOCATE.  Look at the difference here. To one group of folks, I am difficult, can’t openly say what I want but all over the internet there is nothing but kind words about me and my advocacy.

As I sit here in LA having enjoyed watching my granddaughter in two graduation ceremonies and will be heading back home, I leave LA different than what I was when I arrived here.  NO MORE, pain for me ….no more asking for respect… no more trying to prove myself…no more kissing ass to get along with folk…no more proving who I am …. No more fighting over my place and where I stand and lastly no more being DISRESPECTED without me speaking REALLY speaking up.  If folk had a problem before with my words… get ready to get your feelings hurt because this chick is going to enjoy the remainder of her life with you or without you.

If you look at this closely, you will see I have endured a lot of pain for many years, yet I bring joy and sunshine to those that accept me.  I have lost dear friends to cancer, lost my mother to cancer in the middle of my very own chemotherapy treatment, lost two brothers and another family and friends.

You see. I know exactly who is causing a lot of this turmoil/ trouble…. Oh yeah … been knowing for YEARS.

So, as I leave this beautiful hotel and LA, I leave knowing when I land back in my hometown, all the pain I endure in life is OVER for me.  I will focus the entire time of my life on cancer patients who treasure life and want to have me in their lives.    This is going to mean no longer having conversations with some folk, blocking folk from my phone to reach me and let me tell you…. I am ready for this next chapter in my life.

In a day, I already have coaching(wellness) calls scheduled with an organization, and within the next two weeks I will be starting a cancer facilitator pilot program for 8 weeks which will be a great financial opportunity for me.

So, for me at this point in my life, I choose distance and peace.  I desire to be happy.  Not everyone will understand the new DEE, the boundaries I have set while here in LA, Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to quietly close the door, release the resentment, and move forward with grace. no matter how painful that might be.

I have left all that negativity right here in LA.  This is a new life for me. I embrace every new person to come into my life… I embrace the new doors getting ready to open for me…

As someone dear to me said as I was going through a tough moment. her words. “You are THIS motivational and inspiration speaker; you should practice what you speak”.  Guess, what… consider it already done as I often speak on Letting GO and this chick cannot openly, freely and honestly speak on LETTING GO as I have done just that, and I can help others to LET GO!  Until the next time… do you, love you and don’t you DARE give a shit about trying to fit in.  peace to you as I am proud to say I have found my peace.  Now, let me go out here and share my love to those that are battling for their life.  Let me be their ray of sunshine. 

Karma just kicked my ass… just landed me a great paying cancer facilitator opportunity for 8-weeks, starting an 8-week Patient Professors Academy Course with University of Md Pharmacy School and a yesterday was my first certified cancer coach class in UK in which I was awarded a scholarship for this class.

Stay true to YOU!!!